Encounter with Future Self

DP Challenge – A service has been invented through which you can send messages to people in the future. To whom would you send something, and what would you write?

I was 11 the first time I got a message from my future self.  It was New Year’s Eve and I was spending the night at a friend’s house.  Her parents were out partying and she was introducing me to the concept of celebrating New Year’s Eve.  My friend was what we would now call “edgy.”  Prone to very bad depressions even though she was only 11 years old.  So perhaps we’d had rum and cokes or champagne – her family was European and cosmopolitan compared to mine.  It was near or after midnight and suddenly she was crying, big wrenching sobs.  I was trying to figure out what set her off – to this day, I am leery of New Year’s Eve celebrations, they seem to bring out the inside whacko in people.  She couldn’t tell me what was wrong; she was awash in sadness and sorrow.  I remember her sitting in a chair and my kneeling, trying to see her face, holding her hands, trying desperately to figure out what was wrong and how best to comfort her.  I came from a crazy family and it scared me that I might become like this little friend of mine.  Like a switch in my head, a channel opened and a voice, strong and sure, said to me,  “Hang on, just hang on.  I know how tough and scary this is.  It will get better.  I promise you.  Your life will be yours to control, not others.  Remember, it will get better.  Hang in there.”  The channel closed and I found myself saying to my friend, “Hey, it will get better.  We just have to hang on.  Hang in there.  I know it.  Trust me on this.”  She raised her head and looked me in the eye.  “How do you know?”  I gripped her hands.  “I just do.  I am sure of it.”

Years later, maybe in my early 30’s, I was in a group meditation and we were scanning the various stages and areas of our lives.  Suddenly, there was my 11 year old self, kneeling, and so desperate for reassurance.  I found myself saying, “Hang on, just hang on.  I know how tough and scary this is.  It will get better.  I promise you.  Your life will be yours to control, not others.  Remember, it will get better.  Hang in there.”

Hours later, I was writing my memories of the meditation down and suddenly put the two and two together – trust me, meditation is like that – it doesn’t always feel like  a straight line.  And, I froze in mid-word, realizing what had just happened.

It was true, you know.  My life has gotten better each and every year.

 

 

4 thoughts on “Encounter with Future Self

  1. Pingback: Daily Prompt – Back to the Future | Joe's Musings

  2. Pingback: THE STROOP EFFECT | hastywords

Come talk with me...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s