Got to say it was a crappy day. Despite every way I knew to shift my head and heart. I began with my usual morning routine of morning pages and readings, etc. It’s quite elaborate. I then moved into the day, with the endless list of tasks left undone, now to be done. Turns out the drum on the printer had finally gone kaput, but that was okay, I had the new spare ready to go. Except it didn’t work. I’d gone cheap, $15.00 for a generic, generally reviewed as good to go. Except it wasn’t. That meant that my tax forms didn’t print. I could spend $130.00 on a new drum or $140.00 for a brand new printer that would print, scan, fax, and tap dance for all I know. Depression began to descend. The college loans were showing me in default instead of deferment. That took an hour or more to straighten out. Onward with tasks, a new post to be written. Got distracted by the challenge re “what do animals mean to you?” Wrote and publish that, finding I had gone back in time discussing a cat dating back to 1996, my JuJu. After that, it was time to write a post on preparedness, the second in a series. But, I found myself writing in circles on a subject I know inside and out. Finally, it was time for the new episode of NCIS and I shut the computer down, swearing I’d be back to finish that article and turned to put full focus on the new NCIS episode, which was about a soldier hit with a sniper bullet in Afghanistan while accompanied by his trusty dog, who sniffs out I.E.D.s. Halfway through, I realized I was depressed, bordering on tears, and sick unto death of death itself and corruption. At the end of the NCIS episode, Tony says, “I was thinking of getting a dog.” Gibbs answers tersely, “That is not a dog. That is a Marine.” Maybe you had to be there. That kicked off a few held back tears, stopped immediately. I come from a family of Marines and they are close to my heart. I have friends and family serving in war zones.
But, you know what? I am sick of death and corruption, seen all around me, and I am not even in battle as our soldiers are. I support a soldier by sending letters and packages via AdoptaPlatoon. This time, this newest soldier, I have never heard back from her, which is unusual. My earlier soldiers wrote at least once. That could be okay. She is too busy to write or it would be dangerous for her. Or, it might be bad – something happened and she is unable to write. Bad day for thoughts like that.
Today’s post was on how you feel about animals. I’ve a great weakness for animals to begin with, but when it comes to military dogs or horses, for that matter, I’m a sucker, wholeheartedly a sucker. Makes me tear up even to type the thought. This will pass. I know that. But, if you think someone who is positive does not have bad days, this would be a good time to correct that impression. The thing is they don’t last – certainly, not as long as they used to. I know that. And now you do, too.