It’s a long story and it started as Part I, which can be found here. It ended with the sentence “I got married.”
I found my mate, married, divorced, and widowed all within six years and all those states with one man. One incredibly joyous, loving, giving, maddeningly crazy man. He was brilliant (160 I.Q.) and he totally self-destructed. There was not a thing I could do to stop him. To this day, I love that man with all my heart and soul. My first course of action when I reach Heaven is to find him and clock the living daylights out of him for giving up and leaving me here on this planet. But, I digress.
In the midst of all that, God gave me a new purpose. There was a period there where I thought my time on this planet was up. I was being called home. Not as a punishment. As a reward for service well done. While that is a story of its own, bottom line was I refused to accept that and demanded to stay here. I argued with the inner voice who told me my time was up. Not God’s voice, mind you. That has a quality all of its own. No, this is more of an inner mentor.
Turns out, I tend to think of Heaven as a bureaucracy with a whole host of bureaucrats keeping an eye on us down here. Heaven’s Human Resources told me it was time to come home. I refused. “Get me your supervisor.” and I kept demanding the next one and the next one, arguing that it was a waste to take me home now, that I was finally making progress, that this was a wonderful planet with people who were amazing, fragile, loving, good, bad and indifferent, but amazing.
“Use me!” I kept yelling. Until… there was a vastly different quality to the communication channel. God or somebody quite close to Him/Her/It was on the line. “Alright, HuntMode. Your contract has been renewed.” Bamn! and the line went dead. Well, not dead, per se. Just that was as far as it was going to go up the chain of command.
What I failed to realize was that did not mean my life would remain the same. Quite the contrary. My marriage fell apart with a rapidity so staggering there was only time to move from one crisis to another. I reached a point, damn fast actually, where I threw in the towel. “Okay, God, I was wrong. I should have gone when you called me. I don’t want to be here if this is what it is.”
The response was regretful, but firm. “Sorry, Hunt. That door is closed. But the good news is that you have accomplished five life lessons in about six weeks during this time. We didn’t know that was possible.” No joy within me this time. Those had been damn hard lessons to suck up. I was exhausted, heart sick and soul weary.
“So, since you’re there, Hunt, we have a new mission for you, if you choose to accept it…” Right. If that was the meaning of going like a rocket, let’s crawl this time. As there appeared nothing for it but to keep on, I said, “Okay, what’s this new mission?” “We want you to lift humanity to its next level.” Right. Righty-O.
(to be continued in Part III tomorrow…)
Extremely riveting.
Somehow, I find myself reminded of Don Camillo! 🙂
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Had to go look that reference up, Col. I thought you miswrote, meaning Don Quixote. This Don Camillo sounds interesting. I had never heard of him or these stories before. Wikipedia says there are films – which should I start with? Oh, and thank you for the compliment. I was afraid I was just going to sound plain cuckoo. Best ~ HuntMode
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In ‘The Little World of Don Camillo’ he frequently has informal little chats with Christ via a crucifix in his church.
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My library had access to five of Don Camillo – only two might be in English. His second book and a DVD of one of the films. I requested both. 🙂
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You are at your best when pouring your soul out, and allowing us to behold the moments. Awesome. Period.
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You never cease to amaze me, M. Your kind words sooth my heart. Thank you.
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Hunt, I appreciate how and where your journey is taking you, and all the blocks in the way. Take care Bill
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Bill, I appreciate your presence here today and your generosity in taking the time to comment and write encouragement. Comments makes such a difference!
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Hunt, It has been a pleasure, I have learned so much so far during my journey. Yes, comments do help, they allow us to focus, and they give encouragement and credence to what we write, Take care, Bill
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